Scarf Tales (Take 1)

Have you ever bought a yarn because you fell in love with it, had a plan for it, and then not been able to get from point A to point B?

Oh I am having a devilish time with this Lion Brand Incredible yarn I just bought. It is an absolutely gorgeous metallic ribbon yarn, dyed in rich, eye-popping variegated colors. I've been lusting after it for months, but at $5.99 a ball it was just too pricey for an experiment. Then Michael’s put it on sale for $2 a ball this week, so I bought it – in fact I bought three skeins of it.

My plan was to loom myself a long, slinky fashion scarf from it, something I could drape over business-casual to dress it up a little. I've made tons of skinny scarves for The Girls and my friends, but this was going to be for me. I've made scarves out of fun furs, and fancy furs, and bling bling and nubblies. I've used cottons, and wools, and silks, and even banana silks. I love scarves, but nearly every one I've loomed has been gifted away. Well, when this yarn came on sale, I knew it was my turn.

I have now frogged the silly thing nine times. The Lion Brand catalog claims that Incredible “drapes like silk.” Nuh unh! This stupid ribbon yarn has more body than Oprah's, uhm, hair. It has a life of its own, and is so wild and springy that my vision of a silky accent is turning into something that looks like it should be tamed with a whip and a chair. I have tried everything, and this yarn (and we have really stretched the definition of “yarn,” now haven't we?) just won't lie flat. I even tried pressing a section of it overnight between heavy books. Did it make any difference? I lifted off the books this morning, and it just stuck its tongue out at me and sneered.

Well, at the very least I am inventing combinations of loom stitches that haven’t been tried before, and I am nearing the end of scarf number one. It's not what I envisioned, but it is wearable, and one-of-a-kind. But I'm not done; the yarn war is not over. This one comes off the loom tonight, and I already have a plan for skein number two.

Take that, Incredible!